Confessions of a plant killer

Confessions of a plant killer

If all your plants look like they know what’s inquisition and if you found the 50 shades… I mean the 50 ways of killing everything green around you, then high five me, we are true soul mates!

The story always begins when one is just a little child and my story is no exception. As a child most of us decide to do everything better than our parents. So did I – and failed miserably.

I grew up in a home full of exotic plants: palms, ficus, citrus and what not. We even had our mini wine yard and we made house wine every year.

My parents loved gardening and they made it seem so easy! So I decided, of course, I will do even better: I will have a nice big garden and even a glass cube which will be like a mini botanic garden – full of exotic plants and an armchair for reading and enjoying the sun.

Well that didn’t turn out like that…

When I moved to my own house I decided: now is the time! I will have some orchids! It went well for a while but the dark autumn came and it was painfully sad to see those beauties fade away

After I …

– killed my orchids

– burned my basil on the summer sun

– failed to see any result after planting parsley seeds (twice!!!)

– killed even the pine trees around the house (but I painted the dead pines with green spray paint – I swear it works! You just need the right shade paint Oh my neighbors’ faces where priceless when they saw me doing it! But what can you do? Unemployment unleashed my creative side )

…I reached the level where I admitted there is no hope for me, I must be a plant killer. Childhood dream ruined, no mini botanic garden, only sad, sour supermarket tomatoes.

So I religiously kept on buying supermarket veggies, fruits and herbs till one day I started working at Plantui and got my own Smart Garden. I was like “mneah…watch me, I kill these herbs before you say Plantui! Pick your death, Garden Rocket!”

5 days after placing the plant capsules in the Smart Garden and doing nothing, this is what I see:

That is Garden Rocket and no, it is not painted with spray paint!

Now you need to know that a good plant killer who made herself a reputation doesn’t give up easily. I was sure that this sorcery will end, Garden Rocket will run out of luck and fade away couple of days later.

To my great “disappointment” I was wrong! This is the situation today:

That Garden Rocket has a flavor I wish I could describe, but you just need to feel it yourself, and that plant next to it is one of my last living orchids who is healing under the light and maybe now has a chance to bloom again.

Can it be that the Smart Garden will bring me back from The Dark Side? Can it be that I won’t be plant killer anymore? I lost my crystal ball so I can’t tell the future but if you ask me in the comments, I can tell you how it is going now.



A maybe-reformed-plant-killer